


Just one more dad joke?

by Tired_Fish



Category: The squade
Genre: Damn, F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi, i love my wife, oh boy oh boy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-23
Updated: 2018-03-23
Packaged: 2019-04-06 17:32:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14061891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tired_Fish/pseuds/Tired_Fish
Summary: Koi needs to fucking stOP





	1. The hot topic of Dad jokes

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Emery](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emery/gifts).



Ok

 

 

Emery was walking to a hot topic, ready to spend almost all of her money on a few chokers. Yet all of the sudden a exited looking figure in the distance started running towards her.

It became apparent that the person was in fact Koi, she had a grin on her face as she attempted to give emery a hug. 

“aY dude I wasn't expecting to see you here!”

Emery chuckled slightly, “Eh I'm just going to hot topic to get more things to make me look like a edgy white boy.”

Koi had a toothy grin as she began to spoke, “Hi just about to go to hot top-”

But before she could finish the awful dad joke emery interrupted her by deservingly saying: “I'm going to get a divorce if you keep doing this”

Koi stopped and almost had a hint of sadness and vulnerability in her eyes but against better judgment continued the torment  
“Well hello going to get a divorce,iM KOI”

Emery just replied with a sigh,disappoint lingering in the air as she continued to walk to her destination,Koi following close behind her. 

They finally arrived to the home of edgy teens,the music noticeably getting louder when they walked in. Koi admired the darkly lit room  
“So,what are you even going to buy? This place is hella rad I literally love everything here”

 

Emerys eyes scanned through the room  
“I dunno,maybe some chokers?”

“Pffttt edgy”

“We.

WE ARE IN A HOT TOPIC.EVERYTHING IS EDGY”

“Whatever you hecking e m o”

“I swear I'm going to kill y ou”

Koi “squared up” and positioned herself in a jokingly bad fighting stance  
“yoU WANNA GO”

Emery joined her in doing a comedic fighting stance and they began to circle each other throwing light punches slow mo style that never actually hit each other. After about 30 seconds they ended up just awkwardly hugging as my chemical romance blasted in their ears. 

“scrEEEEEEEE”

Suddenly a loud screech could be heard,a strangely moving silhouettes was seen. Koi and emery glanced at the stranger for a few seconds before noticing that it was Devon and rocky in the middle of a screech fight.

Kois rushed over to them,happily surprised to see even more people she knows in this place of edgy aesthetics.  
Then Devon looked at them as well,making eye contact before letting out a surprised raspy voice  
“what are you doing hereeeeeeeeee”

Koi did a quick kumquat squat before replying  
“We're going to become edgDloRds please call me xXshadow_the_hedghog_loverXx”

Emery then chimed into the conversation  
“But...shadow isn't even a hedgehog. He's a g o d . What are you a faKE FAN?!”

Koi just let out a strange wheezing noise in response 

Rocky had a big kinda unsettling smile as he began to speak

“y’know one of my cars is emo,And g a y! I love my good car son”

Koi grinned a bit “pfftttt,that really gets my wheels turning~” 

Rocky coughed a bit before replying “wowiE daddy fill up my engine!~”

Emery smiled yet concern was apparent in her tone “what the h e c k”

Koi chuckled a bit and dabbed.

Emery then fucking stabbed Koi, and smiled because the normie is finally dead. She is free 

Koi shuddered and exhaled a shaky last word  
“I-impale me harder daddy-”

The kids started at the corpse as some panic at the disco song blasted into their ears. The employees didn't even notice the commotion.

Devon stared intently into the dead eyes of the girl “oh wow. It's finally dead”

Rocky screamed a bit but settled down after a few seconds “oh that's a shame. Now she can't watch the new season of south park next year” 

Then koi instantly shot back up “diD SOMEONE SAY S O U T H P A R K?!”

Then In unison everyone started screaming 

Emery was the first to speak “WHY WONT YOU DIE. IM TERRIFIED”

Koi smirked “Hi terrified,I'm alive.”

Emery looked applied “do you want me to stab you again!?” 

Koi shrugged “kinda?”

Emery pinched her nose is annoyance “whatever,lets get some slushies and forget this ever happened. But I swear if you dab again you dab again you are d e a d” 

Koi dabbed again.

Emery shaked her head from restrained from stabbing her again.

Rocky then dabbed as well and you could see emerys eye twitch.


	2. Slushys are not as cool as you~

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They gang go to 7-11 and meet a furry

The four left the edgy store, deciding that junk food from 7-11 is better than some overpriced emo attire.

They had a bit of small talk mostly consisting of memes and screaming as they walked until they finally found the destination, a 7-11 known for being generous with the slushy prices.

They all entered the store and began strolling through the aisles, picking up a few snacks before gathering around the cash register and deciding what flavor of frozen dessert they want.

Koi turned around and recognized that Eliot, Sydney, and Oliver were in fact there “woAH dUDES WHATCHA DOING HERE”

Oliver looked extremely annoyed at the appearance of the small flock of chattering kids and let out a small sigh “Sydney wanted to get a few snacks and dragged us with her.”

Sydney looked a bit appalled and huffed out a angry breath as a crimson colored blush lightly covered her face “Y-you baka! You wanted to come here with me…”

Oliver rolled his eyes “Sureeee.”

Sydney pouted a bit, “ _Whatever_ , I know you wanted to come...”

Rocky grinned and yelled out “ **SHIPPPP**!!!!!”

Sydney and Oliver spoke in unison “n o.”

Eliot smiled slightly and jokingly said “s h i p.”

Sydney was now covering her face with her hands In embarrassment.

Koi chuckled softly and spoke out “Uh, okay yeah I'm staying out of this. Anywaysss what slushy flavors do y'all want?~”

Emery was the first to reply, “Blue flavor!”

Koi replied hastily and placed a few crumpled dollars on the counter “Alright uh, two blue slushys please!”

Emery grabbed her slushy and started to head outside as the others began to get their snacks and drinks.

Koi smiled and used her free hand to make a finger gunning motion as she followed emery “Y’know this slushy is not as cool as you~“

Emery replied with a small wheezing noise and a smile before slurping into the slushy, her facial expression turning into a shocked one “A-agh! I must be really cool then, this shit is freezing...”

Out of curiosity Koi took a regretfully big sip of her slushy. She shuddered on impact, “dUde IM GETTING A BRAIN FREEZE ALREADY.”

Emerys smile returned as a surprisingly nice melody slipped out of her mouth, “Freeze your brain~ Suck on that straw, get lost in the pain”

Kois face lit up as her noticeably worse and more raspy voice managed to sputter out: “haPPINESS C OMES WHEN EVERYTGING NUMBS WHO NEEDS **C** **OCAINNNNNN**??!”

They began to poorly sing in unison between laughs as Devon wondered what they were doing since she does not get into the quality musical fandoms and she's really missing out.

After the song ended they panted heavily as the surrounding kids just stood there awkwardly. Koi then proceeded to take a long sip from her slushy.

Rocky was the first one to speak after that strange scene of musical references and regrets.

“aAAaAaANYWAYS tell me about all of your bunny boys.”

After taking a uncomfortably long slurp of her slushy, Koi replied “d u d e. You are obsessed with your damn bUnnY bOys.”

Rocky defensively scoffed “You didn't answer my question...”

Koi exaggeratedly rolled her eyes “Whatever you thot, go ask Sydney she's the furry-”

Sydney stomped on the ground and screamed: “IM NOT A DAMN FURRYYYY!!!”

Koi chuckled softly at that, “Hi not a damn furry im dad~”

Emery looked appalled as she let out a shaky mix of screeching and words:  
‘hjdegwdew K O I.”

Koi snickered devilishly and almost choked on her frozen drink.

Emery looked murderous but did not provoke the situation further.

Koi now had a smirk placed across her face as her eyes made their way back to the angered and flustered girl, “Anywayys, Sydney. You literally have cat ears in your backpack-“

Sydney gasped; “THEY ARE FOX EARS YOU NORMIE!”

Eliot now stepped between them and looked at Sydney with concern. “Sydney that does not make your claim that you are not a furry any stronger…”

Sydney stepped back and crossed her arms, it was faint but everyone could hear her mumble “I'm not a furry.” under her breath.

Koi resisted the urge to once again make ANOTHER dad joke and simply continued slurping up her frozen drink, humming the tune of “freeze your brain” as she genuinely smiled, admiring the chaos of her friends as all of their slushy cups slowly became less full as their interactions progressed.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapter but I literally made it in 7 minutes

**Author's Note:**

> Please kill me


End file.
